stomach ache

so much delicious shepherd's pie made with ingredients from the farmer's market bought with foodstamps.

adidaportland

next season on american idol:

simon: why are you here?

me: bc im the next american idol...but really, im just hoping to get closer to lee dewyze.

cookie party

all i think about is portland.

trip will be great. can't wait to see peeps.

erica and i are moving to oakland. jessie's coming.

bradley reminds me of jon timm in a creepy way.

i always liked jon timm but like it creeps me the ways he reminds me of him. just skinny, and not into being tough.

but then sometimes he is tough. but just so skinny.

i want to do whatever i want in portland.

4.23.2010

woke up at 8:45 in all of my clothes from last night, feeling dizzy.

found erica in katie's bed and the jundt's folding in the living room.

coffee breakfast at cafe flore, amazing.

byebye jundt's.

home, rat bowl.

walked to rei, got tan.

sweet tank,.

farted, i mean barted to lake merritt (accidentally of course).

oakland farmer's market tamale and cupcake, katie's work, diet cokes.

brick wall, burton bag, double coke.

moma.

f car, backwards.

the more you weigh, the more we pay!

pahy.

dlx.

tacobell/kfc.

blackbird photobooth.

rat bowl, rooftop, autophoto.

proj run.

am id.

erica: god, we ate terribly today.

erica's stomach: yep.

owwwwwwww.

barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlph.

ok, can we plz b done blogging. omg rofl.

hella dang

erica's here. this is how life should always be.

last night was like the best night of my life.

got off work, ate delicious quesadillas and rice and salsa salad, went to the gayest man-bar of all time (like bears) where eric n i were the only women to have probably ever stepped foot inside the doors, watched american idol and glee (madonna special), drank nummy drinks and cheered at the tv while blazed out of our gourds.

im wild about bradley. we spent like a full 24 hours away from each other and i went wild for him today when i saw him for an hour.

i took the muni to his place straight from work.

he was so cute. i had to fuck him.

i left and met matt, al, cody at pilsner to get matt's keys. unlocked the door for erica waiting at the gate. drank a bud. now listening to boxcar racer in my bed, drinking wine, getting paid.

erica just now from her book, "hunchback! god, i love this!!"

doin gr8!

too good to be true?

i have never been so mushy and gay fag in my lyfe.

to be honest sometimes he creeps me out. but i still find myself saying these things i can't even believe are coming out of my mouth and instantly questioning and analyzing the sheer vulnerability i'm subjecting myself to and wondering if i'm not really just a devil in disguise.

can i really mean these things?

can i really posses these feelings?

of having a future? of being domestic? of traveling together?

how fast can i move? why aren't i stopping? it's like a drug.

awesome night at patches's'zzz, grilled cheese and tomato soup, sexy $exy time, bong rips, even awesome interaction/conversation with the roomies...i honestly questioned to myself tonight if he was going to someday murder me...

erica. please. come. meet him. and herlp mer firgure myr lirfe ourt.

i'm clearly incapable of sound logic or focused emotions.

(is he really the travis barker i pretend he is?)

my heart is melting all over the floor

drip.

barf.