i'd rather be lonely than happy with somebody else

if one, just one friend would call when they say they will, i'll feel like i have any.

today i got so, and i mean like raging, so sad because i wanted to go get dinner and a drink and my one someone didn't want to. totally legit not to want to. totally lame that i have NO other friends.

but i hate everyone.

i only like people who don't live here and they never call me back.

bradley is my best friend.

i'd be lost without him.

even more lost than i am now.

super thankful

highlights of today

american idol auditions were today in sf at at&t park

i did not attend as planned.

instead,

i moved the twilight movie to the #1 position in my netflix queue

and i dropped out of community college.

time to get really really high.

skool

its familiar but i feel superior

aka im a bitch

i dont want to make friends but im annoyed that no one tried

ugh

i have to make friends

its what i do

i want a study group like Community

potentials:

18 yr old girl in my camera class that said, "oh, you," today.

18-22 y/o girl i hate in gospel choir that stared at me smiling all day monday, clearly trying to be friends because i was the only other white person.

~20 y/o niko from theatre who laughed when i said, "he's just working out," as the emotional expression the dude posing as 'shocked' was tableau-ed in.

~20 y/o niko's gf who goes everywhere he goes.

i just need some more oldies and it'll be good.

...

i'm tired

been a long

i'm kind of lame.

having the best day being my lame ass self at home alone.

woke up to bradley kissing me. morning sex followed by a second sess.

shower make out.

post shower downtown from radley followed by aNOTHER round.

wild.

he went home. (which i love)

breakfast.

then i finished unpacking and setting up my room which is now amazing and beautiful.

ate a sandwich and drank a beer.

now im wathcing nutty professor 2, smoking weed, and lounging hard.

going to grab some beers with my boo later and pretty much live my dream.

jesus.

crazy.

new life

so, imagining a better life an materializing it.

sunny california

boats

community college

erica

hot young dudes

turtles

maybe oimb actually or smthg like it

gettin out of town will be amasing

trying to decide where i want to go next.

stomach ache

so much delicious shepherd's pie made with ingredients from the farmer's market bought with foodstamps.

adidaportland

next season on american idol:

simon: why are you here?

me: bc im the next american idol...but really, im just hoping to get closer to lee dewyze.